Adoption: Feels like a lot of hurry up and wait

by Meg Roetto, MSW, LMSW, LFCS Adoption Case Worker – Southwest Office

Sometimes the adoption process can feel like a hurry up and wait process.  During the home study process your time is filled with paperwork, interviews, paperwork, home visits, training and more paperwork.  There are so many things to keep your time busy that you don’t have time to focus on the excitement, fears and anticipation.  Then the approval is given and you are now able to move forward.  You’re so excited you can barely stand it.  For a few adoptive families placement happens quickly and their waiting period is short, but for most adoptive parents, the waiting has just begun.  This is a difficult time for many families.  I have had multiple couples ask me at their approval, “Now what do I do?”

Here are a few suggestions:

Register or set up a nursery

Search out children’s books about adoption you want to have in your home

Read the book Secret Thoughts of an Adoptive Mother or other adoption related books that are of interest to you

Find an adoption support group

Seek out other adoptive parents

Seek out additional training or research
It is also important to do things that do not focus on the adoption.  You are still “you” and you should to continue to be who you are.
Here are some more ideas:

Go on a vacation (all future vacations will not be the same!)

Garden, read a book, crochet, scrapbook, train for a race, join a work out group, or a book club or any other hobby (with the understanding that once a baby comes, these hobbies may be put back on the back burner)

Finish a home remodeling project

Most of all: PRAY.  God ultimately knows what is perfect for you and He will accomplish it in His timing.  Allow this time to be a time period that He grows you and your marriage.  Surround yourselves with supportive friends who will encourage you and hold you up in prayer.  If the waiting gets to be overwhelming, always seek out your adoption worker and discuss your fears, concerns or anxiety.  LFCS is here for you.