November is a time to celebrate the beauty of adoption, yet birth parents, often the most courageous part of the adoption story, are frequently overlooked.

At Lutheran Family and Children’s Services (LFCS), we are dedicating National Adoption Month to raising awareness of the free, confidential counseling and lifelong support we provide to honor and care for those who make the selfless decision to place their child for adoption.

The True Meaning of Courage and Love

Choosing adoption is one of the most profound and loving decisions a parent can make. It’s a choice made from love and the desire to give a child their best possible future.

“For birth parents, the adoption journey is an act of incredible courage and love,” said Melani Engel, Director of Adoption Services for LFCS. “It’s a decision rooted in deep care for their child’s future, and our mission is to support them before, during, and long after placement.” This perspective reframes the adoption experience. It turns a narrative of loss into one of empowerment and strength.

Modern Adoption: Embracing Openness and Partnership

Adoption has evolved. Today, most adoptions include ongoing relationships between birth and adoptive families, reflecting a more compassionate and connected approach.

According to the National Council for Adoption (NCFA), approximately 95 percent of domestic infant adoptions now include some degree of openness, allowing for continued communication and mutual respect between families.

LFCS’s commitment is strengthened through its partnership with BraveLove, a national nonprofit dedicated to equipping professionals and agencies with resources to better support birth parents.

“Every woman deserves access to the resources and support she needs to make a well-informed decision about her pregnancy and continued care after placement,” said Janelle Basham, Executive Director of BraveLove. “We’re proud to partner with Lutheran Family and Children’s Services in honoring the courage and love shown through adoption, this month and every month.”

 

Free, Lifelong Support from LFCS

Our commitment extends far beyond the moment of placement. LFCS provides comprehensive, nonjudgmental services for birth parents at every step of their journey:

• Free, confidential counseling: A safe, supportive space for women and men considering adoption to explore their options and emotions.
• Guidance and education: Clear, step-by-step guidance through the adoption process so parents feel informed and supported.
• Post-Placement counseling and support: Ongoing counseling and support groups promote healing and long-term emotional well-being.

To reach more families across Missouri, LFCS is expanding its video library and digital outreach, complementing BraveLove’s powerful stories like:

“We want every birth parent in Missouri to know that they are not alone,” said Engel. “There are compassionate professionals ready to listen, to help them heal and to support their future with dignity and care.”

 

Ready to Listen and Help.

For more information about Lutheran Family and Children’s Services, including adoption services and support for birth parents, visit https://lfcsmo.org/, call 866-326-LFCS, or email help@lfcs.org.

Michael and Sarah Hanf’s adoption journey is a powerful testament to the importance of openness in adoption. Their path, like many who pursue adoption, was filled with both hope and heartbreak. When the Hanfs first reached out to LFCS, they were navigating the emotional ups and downs of trying to build their family.

“We continued to try to have kids, but after multiple miscarriages we found out we had infertility issues,” Sarah recalls. “We went through several medical procedures, and after five years we were able to have our oldest child, Morgan.” After experiencing the joy of parenthood, they hoped to have another child. However, doctors told them they had only a 3% chance of success if they attempted the same lengthy process. Knowing how painful and unlikely that process would be, Michael and Sarah chose adoption.

Their initial attempts to adopt, however, were marked by disappointment. They connected with another agency but found the experience frustrating and costly. “That was crushing,” Sarah shares. “We were very discouraged… we felt like we were just another number.” After similarly negative experiences with multiple other agencies, they reached out to LFCS in desperation. What they found was a team that truly cared.

Michael, Sarah, Morgan, Olivia, & Brooklynn Hanf

Openness in adoption has been shown to benefit all members of the adoption triad—adoptees, birth parents, and adoptive families. For adoptees, open adoption helps them understand their origins, identity, and genetic background*. It fosters a sense of connection and promotes positive feelings toward their birth parents. In fact, nearly two-thirds of respondents from the NCFA’s 2024 adoption survey identified openness as the most important factor for birth parents when selecting adoptive families**. Open adoption also creates a broader, more supportive community for the child, strengthening relationships across the triad***.

Through LFCS’s panels and their own research, Michael and Sarah came to embrace the idea of openness. “I see the birth family as being an important part of Olivia and Brooklynn’s sense of identity,” says Michael. Sarah agrees, adding, “They know they are loved by their birth family, but to interact and feel that love… it made the abstract concrete.”

Lori Holden
The Open-Hearted Way to Open Adoption

Today, Michael and Sarah have completed their family, having adopted their daughters, Olivia and Brooklynn, through LFCS. Alongside their first child, Morgan, the Hanf family is now filled with love, light, and laughter. Michael and Sarah are deeply grateful for the support they received from LFCS. “They are like part of our family now… They have just gone above and beyond more than they have ever had to do,” Sarah says. “The care that they give the birth family, the care that they give us, it means a lot to me.”

Through their story, the Hanfs hope to highlight the transformative power of openness in adoption and encourage others to embrace it as they did. For them, it was the key to building the forever family they had always dreamed of.

* https://www.americanadoptions.com/blog/10-things-that-scientific-research-says-about-open-adoption/#:~:text=Openness%20allows%20them%20to%20better,10
** https://lavenderluz.com/ncfa-adoptee-research/#:~:text=1.,/religious%20views%20(38%25)
*** https://www.bravelove.org/stories/healthline-the-long-term-health-benefits-of-open-adoption/