Melani Engel

Director of Adoption Services for LFCS

The True Meaning of Courage and Love

Choosing adoption is one of the most profound and loving decisions a parent can make. It’s a choice made from love and the desire to give a child their best possible future.

“For birth parents, the adoption journey is an act of incredible courage and love,” said Melani Engel, Director of Adoption Services for LFCS. “It’s a decision rooted in deep care for their child’s future, and our mission is to support them before, during, and long after placement.” This perspective reframes the adoption experience. It turns a narrative of loss into one of empowerment and strength.

The post National Adoption Month: Honoring the Courage and Lifelong Support for Birth Parents first appeared on Lutheran Family and Children's Services of Missouri.

November is National Adoption Month, a time to celebrate the transformative power of adoption and raise awareness about the need for loving families for children. Courtesy of Lutheran Family and Children’s Services (LFCS), here are some of the most current adoption statistics, including some specific to Missouri.

National

• 114,000 children are eligible for adoption.
• More than 50,000 children are adopted from foster care each year
• About 100,000 children are adopted through all adoptions each year.
• Around 700,000 children are living with adoptive parents.

• 1 in 35 children in the United States is adopted.
• Approximately 95% of domestic infant adoptions are considered to be open or semi-open adoptions
• 50 percent of families with adopted children also have biological children.

Statewide

• There were 1,298 private adoptions in 2020 and 1,652 adoptions from foster care
• 2,677 Missouri children were waiting to be adopted in 2021.
• The most common ages for children waiting to be adopted in Missouri is between 1-4 years old

• 5 in 1,000 Missouri children entered foster care in 2021 (national average is 3.5 children per 1,000).
• 27 private adoptions in 2022 were conducted through LFCS.

Throughout National Adoption Month, LFCS encourages individuals to learn more about the adoption process and celebrate the journey of those who chose adoption. By offering a wide range of adoption services, including counseling, education, financial assistance, and support groups, LFCS strives to create a nurturing environment for all members of the adoption triad.

For anyone considering adoption, we encourage you to visit https://lfcsmo.org/adoption-services. You can find comprehensive info about our adoption process, helpful resources for birth families and adoptive couples, as well as an overview of the couples currently seeking placement. If you have any questions or want to speak with one of our professional case managers, please call 866-326-LFCS (5327).

Source: The Annie E. Casey Foundation, National Council on Adoption, U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, The Adoption Network and LFCS

The post Adoption By The Numbers first appeared on Lutheran Family and Children's Services of Missouri.

An open adoption is an adoption where all identifying information is shared between the biological parents and the adoptive family, including last names, addresses, phone numbers and birth dates. It also usually includes on-going visits or meetings throughout the child’s life. Many people think this is the perfect arrangement for someone who is not quite ready to be a parent but still wants to be involved in the child’s life. It can be a wonderful experience, but it is not perfect. Open adoption does not take away the sadness and loss in making a plan of adoption. It also is sometimes difficult to negotiate roles while still providing a sense of entitlement to the adoptive parents who have all the responsibility.

A closed adoption is an adoption where no identifying information is exchanged between the biological parents and the adoptive family. Often times there is no contact. For some people experiencing an unplanned pregnancy, this option allows them to let go more readily and move on with their lives.

In the middle of an open and closed adoption, there is a semi-open or semi-closed adoption where the biological parents may meet the adoptive parents in a neutral setting and only first names are shared. In addition, letters and pictures may be exchanged through an agency or attorney throughout the child’s life.

Talking with an LFCS expert in adoption will help guide you to an adoption that will best meet the needs of both you and your child. There are pros and cons to any of these choices, but as long as there is a mutual respect and good communication between parties, adoption is very successful for all involved. Call or email LFCS to talk confidentially to a professional, licensed adoption expert today.  Call 314-787-5100 to learn more.

The post The Differences Between Open & Closed Adoptions first appeared on Lutheran Family and Children's Services of Missouri.

Lutheran Family and Children’s Services of Missouri (LFCS) has partnered with Nightlight Christian Adoption Agency’s Snowflake program to offer embryo donation and adoption services in Missouri. There is no cost for donor families who wish to donate their frozen embryos to another family.  The only cost the donor family must cover is the cost to keep the embryos frozen in storage, which they are likely already paying.  All other costs are covered by the recipient family.  The donor family is also able to choose how much openness they would like with the recipient family, should the family successfully give birth to a child.  Families can choose a totally open adoption, in which both parties know one another, have identifying information, and have direct contact with one another.   The donor family may also choose a more closed adoption, in which they do not have direct contact with the recipient family.  In embryo adoption, the match is a mutual decision, one in which both parties must agree.

Embryo adoption is governed by property law, and both the donor and recipient families must sign a contract created by Snowflakes that transfers the embryos from the donor family to the recipient family. The recipient family can then choose to have the Frozen Embryo Transfer occur at their fertility clinic or at the clinic where the embryos were originally created.

If you have completed your family and have frozen embryos in storage, and would like to discuss your options, please contact us at 866-326-5327 or at michelles@lfcs.org. We understand it is a difficult decision and are here to support you through the process!

The post Understanding Embryo Adoption first appeared on Lutheran Family and Children's Services of Missouri.

Little Jake found a forever loving home, because of friends like you!

Jake’s birth parents knew they were not in a position to raise a child and had turned to LFCS to find a loving home and family. Jake was born prematurely at just 29 weeks and weighed less than three pounds! Meanwhile, Christy and Christopher, who had struggled with infertility, had also turned to LFCS. Jake’s birth parents selected the couple to adopt their tiny newborn. “All of this would not have been possible without the help of LFCS,” says Christy. “Melyssa was so kind, helpful, and very patient with us. Our little guy is now almost 5 years old and we can’t imagine life without him.”

Help other families by donating today!

The post Meet Jake first appeared on Lutheran Family and Children's Services of Missouri.

David was born in St. Louis in April of 1968. In May of that same year, his adoption of finalized and he became the son of Joe and Loretta Pennington. “I was raised by the most incredible parents in a home filled with love,” said David. He grew up surrounded by the lush green landscape of Southwest Missouri with his adopted sister, Sara.

Today, he works as the Chief Brand Officer for a St. Louis digital agency and is the father to 3 amazing children.  In his spare time, he runs and cycles to stay healthy, but also to raise money for charities that inspire him.  Recently, David joined the Board of Directors for LFCS and volunteers additional time to serve on the marketing committee.  When asked why he is compelled to serve, David said, “I’m constantly inspired by LFCS and the continued passion for helping families across the state of MO.”

Meet David             David’s Adoption Story            What Other’s Should Know About Adoption

The post Meet David first appeared on Lutheran Family and Children's Services of Missouri.

Alyssa, had numerous surgeries during her 5 months of life and passed away in October 2007.  My husband and I were grateful for the support of family and friends during the loss of our daughter. We decided to wait to have another child after the loss of our daughter due to health issues and finances.

My husband was diagnosed as the carrier of Emanuel Syndrome after the loss of our daughter.  I was diagnosed with Diminished Ovarian Reserve and learned it would be impossible for us to have biological children.

My OB/GYN had suggested trying IVF/PGD due to the genetic condition.  We had a consult with one of the best doctors in the area, but decided to wait.  I then went to visit a Reproductive Endocrinologist and discussed my available options.  He suggested we use an egg donor with the possibility of having another child with a genetic issue.  So, we decided to try an IUI, but had no success.

We then heard about embryo adoption.  It was incredible to learn that there was such an amazing (and affordable) option available for couples like us.  Could actually experience pregnancy with an adopted child? It almost seemed too good to be true.

We started our search, and ended up using NEDC in Knoxville, TN as our agency. We had to travel to Tennessee for a consult with the doctor to determine if I would be capable of carrying a pregnancy.  During this visit the I underwent a physical exam and “trial transfer” to check for any physical barriers which might impede the actual embryo transfer or pregnancy.  Once the family assessment was completed and reviewed, we received the donor profiles that fit our wish list.

We had to make a second trip to Tennessee for the actual embryo transfer.  So, we decided to make the seven hour trip a few days prior to do some sightseeing. We went to the Smoky Mountains, which were breathtaking, and the following day we met up with my Aunt and Uncle from Chicago to visit with them.

We had our first frozen embryo transfer in September 2012, which happened to be my parent’s anniversary.  I learned that I was pregnant on the anniversary of our first daughter’s death, which was a blessing in disguise.  The ultrasound a couple weeks later showed one perfect baby! And a few months later, we found out we were having another girl.  Baby Megan was born in May 2013 on her Great-Grandmothers birthday.

Embryo adoption has forever changed our lives and we wouldn’t have our beautiful baby girl if it wasn’t for this incredible path.  I love to talk about this option for other people undergoing infertility.

~ Jennifer

The post Our Story of Embryo Adoption first appeared on Lutheran Family and Children's Services of Missouri.

We can help you explore issues such as:

• Identity
• Loss
• Attachment
• Culture
• Past Trauma
• Past abuse or neglect
• Fitting in
• Self-esteem
• Relationships
• Family

Contact us by email or call 314-787-5100 or 866-326-LFCS (5327) to learn more or set up an appointment.

The post Were you Adopted or in Foster Care and Need Counseling? first appeared on Lutheran Family and Children's Services of Missouri.

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